Finally, the nightmare is over. The truth reveals itself. Not only to me, to the three of us. It's no longer a fantasy to him, it's a reality. Accept the facts, face the consequences. Learn from your mistakes, never repeat it. It will only hurt you, not make you happy.

Few years back, I thought I found my Mr. Right Guy. But it totally makes me insane. I can't be myself, I have to pretend in certain ways. I have to watch all my moves and what I said. Somethings happened and our relationship just ended there. Last year, I thought I found my dream guy. The boyfriend whom I could treat like a friend. The one who could get along with my family and friends. I could be my own self, I am being me. But it does not only make me insane. It makes me triple the insane I had a few years back. As usual, somethings happened and our relationship just end there.

To think about it, he deserves the punishment. But I do pity him. He always seems to be cheerful and now, I don't know. I do still love him. I swear I love him more than my previous ex boyfriend. But he should go back to his true love. I don't blame him totally, my fault too. It's like, I'm the cause of this whole thing. It's hard for me to explain. I just want someone whom I could give my love and the one who could give me love. Love me for who I am, the one who will listen to my sorrowness and happiness. It's like a fantasy to me. And now I have to accept the fact than we're no longer together.


Work was tiring, especially when the executive is back. Double the stress. But overall, it's for the money anyway. And and and Chum-chum (or should I say, Cicak?) and I didn't collect our pay yesterday. Pathetic little us. Tomorrow working again and Yunus just messaged that we have to report at 4pm. Well, maybe I'll be following Chum-chum to his friend's wedding ceremony at Bedok Reservoir. At least it's nearer to our work place.







Do you find it irritating for someone to accuse you blindly? Well, it happened to me, or should I say to us, yesterday. I was happily playing the PS2 Chum-chum brought to my house. I bought for him two games from Johore the previous day. And she happily sit with us and nag and nag and nag. Accusing me for messing the house. But to think of it, I usually not at home. And so she starts yak-ing of those nonsense. So basically, she sms-ed my mum, telling her about our fucked up attitude that didn't clean the house. But it was totally a fake. We didn't even mess up the house. Only our rooms. And not only my mum that she told, my uncle and my aunt came into the picture as well.

I was totally furious and not only me. Abang and Yun too. Caca as usual, didn't get any scolding. How great! Karaoke was ablast. Not to mention, Chum-chum was crazy. Peace.

Booked my working days. Only get two days of work, Thursday and Saturday. Tomorrow accompaning Chum-chum to Tekka Mall and maybe going to Shangrila and Far East Plaza. Well, I've no money to spend and I've saved $100. Thanks to Chum-chum for keeping it for me.







I've just read someone's blog. Someone whom I trust and have my love. The one who always there for me, through ups and downs together. It's nonsensical. I've never thought of breaking our friendship, and have never said. She has a wrong perception towards us. Despite all that, I remain to be tranquil. I know you're taking too hard about the chat the other day. It's not that we hate you or something like that. Just making you realise that your atitude changed towards us lately, after knowing that someone. I know you quite well, very well. I'm not blaming him nor you. Not anyone.







Saturday was a hell day. Working at SSC the whole day, from 5.30pm till 4.30am. Don says no slots for this week as there's no function. Nevermind. Anyway, was planning about the chalet thingy with them on our birthday. I think it'll be on the 8 to 10 November. Not confirmed. Have to collect some kachings first before anything. They were over at my place yesterday. So, we were just searching the web for the chalet rates and such. Linda went back to Man's place and I, as usual, you know I know public don't know. Talked some shits with Linda and Didy under my block. Strange things happens and sometimes dejavu do happens sometime too. Anyway, the small boifey downloaded many new songs and was like showing it off to me yesterday. Met Marq at Admiralty place as he wants to have his late night dinner there. So accompanied him while waiting for the boifey to call.



Was messaging with my ex-boifey's sisters. They both really has the telepathy inside them. They asked me whether their brother has a new girlfriend or not. So I just simply replied, "I don't know. He said he has no time for girlfriend anymore." The funny thing is that, they know the answer as they replied me the same thing. What I meant by telepathy is that, they asked me at almost the same time and replied my message the same answer.

Rafidah:
ooh..okay..i also think that he gt no gf bcos if he have he cnfurm bwk balik rumah..

Nadiah:
patot tu ah he go back hm usualy u las time follow nw tak de perempuan ikot dier alek umah..hahax


I could simply recall those days when I'm with him. We'll usually meet up after school and I'll follow him back home. And we'll just go somewhere to spend with. To think about it now, just pointless. What's bygone is bygone. I have my small boifey now and Faizal is just my past. Don't get me wrong. Faizal is my ex, and my small boifey's real name is also Faizal. It's just a coincidence. Faizal is a common name anyway. Boifey always say that they might have the same name, but different attitude. In fact, it's true. Proven. Can see that very well. Even my besties know that. Talking about my ex, Man's body-build and complexion is exactly the same as my ex.



I need to pierce my left ear again. A third hole. Maybe piercing back my lips. About the lips, I'll see how. I just keep losing my studs and plain lazy to buy new ones. My tongue and nose piercings are still open. Seasoned. My tongue was since last year and my nose since I was in secondary school. We'll see how. =)







I thought the situation has been cooled down. But I was totally in a wrong. I never thought you would still want to see me suffer. All I could say is that you're totally inconsiderate and only think of yourself. I know I should listen to what they say, to leave you alone. I believe people can change, but I don't see anything inside you. On the other side, you're always there for me. You gave me comfort, love and everything I need.



Your behaviour now is different. You totally change. I don't expect that, at all. You no longer the person I used to know. Well, maybe I have no right to say that. Just giving you my point of view. It's like karma, what goes around comes around. What you used to do to me, bounce back to you. Look at yourself in the mirror now.



We were so overwhelmed to know that we could collect our pay. But the person in-charge really ruined our plan yesterday. Only Linda gets her pay while we, didn't get any single cent.


All we did the whole day was windowshop at Bugis Village. Anyway, bought two pairs of lovely earstuds. Thanks to boifey for choosing it for me.



Tomorrow working at 5:30pm till closing. Aarrgh! Chayaya.




It's been awhile since I updated my blog. Been very busy lately; working, sleeping, eating and such. Yesterday, working at SSC with Yun, Linda and boifey. Actually Man supposed to work yesterday but he wanted to follow Khai. Luckily boifey could replace him. Shahnaz (whatever the spelling is la) fooled me, telling me the chinese guy's name was Awak. And the foolish me believed and called him Awak, but he just ignore me. Linda and Shahnaz just happily laughed at me. Kekengki! Tomorrow we'll be getting our pay. I'm thinking of saving up my pay for birthday chalet. 18 years old, so it's a die die must celebrate.

Just now, went to Jurong Library to study with Aanis, Shila and boifey. Studied Maths for a few minutes only and then just read up the Science book. Wasn't concentrating much just now as my stomach keeps on grumbling. I've ate at boifey's place before going out. Bought a chocolate waffle but it just didn't satisfy my grumbling stomach. Like finally after studying, the grumbling stopped for awhile. Now, I'm hungry again. =) Boifey says my stomach's getting bigger. Linda says I gained weight.




Da, aku nak berambos.





I didn't know about those tags going on. I was curious about what he was talking about when I went online today, just to see a message has been sent to me when I was offline on the 1st August. So I decided to take a look at my blog. Only to my surprise to see those tags. To whom it may concern, I'm happy with my boyfriend. Despite all those fights, I still love him. He's my boyfriend afterall. Couples do fight, it's normal. Even married couples fight. I'm sorry for whatever happens here. I don't want because of this, you guys broke your friendship.








I've started working at SSC. It's quite tiring though. And I dropped two glasses, one on each day I'm working. How pathetic can I be? Got a job at Siam Kitchen, but it's not worth it to me. Anyway, I'm not working this whole week. No slot. Ok, I lied. There's a slot on Wednesday, but I want to spend quality time with my dear baby girl. So I decided not to work on that day. Hopefully there's slot for me next week.



My hunny's having fever and I'm afraid tomorrow our plan will be ruined. I asked him to sleep over at Kakak's place and Wednesday, we'll be going out, bringing Yani along. I hope it will turn out just fine.