It's good to have your loved ones by your side on your special day. I know you don't prioritise me. Thanks for that and thanks for making me stronger. I'm strong enough to overcome obstacles of life. You said you'd call me at night, but you didn't. I swear I was furious. But I was just being patient with you. You didn't call me today too. I was patient enough, mind you.

Win a date with Syukor. And I won. HAHA. He fetched me from Linda's house around 1am. Yeah, he changed bike. From RXZ to Wave. Went out to somewhere and did nothing much. Just looking around and talk some shits at Macdonald's. And he made me craving for cigarette. He won't let me have a stick, not even a puff. Just the smoke. Around 4, reached at Linda's place and I really appreciate him for that as he was damn sleepy by then. Linda and I couldn't get ourselves to the dreamland. Watched My Wife Is A Gangster 3 and just talk craps. On the phone with Aiyad, just to talk some shits that happened. Eventually, we managed to fall asleep after 10am. Woke up around 4pm, eat and went back to dreamland. Around 10, woke up and cook from stuffs to eat. Watched a scary movie and just lepak-ed with Khai. And voila, I'm home.

Thanks Linda, Man and Aiyad for the conference call. HAHA. Thanks Syukor for the date! HAHA. You all, you know I know public don't know suda la. HAHA. Get what I mean. HAHA. Basically, just thanks for being there when I'm in need.


First of all, I'd like to wish my baby boy.





To tell you the truth, I'm tired of sitting in front of this goddamn computer in Aiyad's room. My backbone hurts. The rest is still sound asleep, since just now. As you can see, I've changed my layout. Bored of the previous one. Anyway, Linda tried singing to this piece of song, Kenangan Dalam Dilema. Man was obviously being supportive of her and such, giving her motivations. Maybe someday that lazy-fat-ass will become a singer. HAHA. Ouh, I miss my budak kecik now. I just wish that gundu birthday boy is here with me right now. Hmmm...

Doing pretty well lately. Having endless nights with my baby boy. And ya, didn't attend class for a week plus. The other day, Man and Linda slept over at Cak's place too. Was kecohrable, absolutely. Been spending most of the time with Linda as Ira now always with Mick. Well, what can I say. At least he take good care of my dear lesbian.

Kakak keep on asking me sleep over at her place. Ouh, I miss that small girl by the name of Rini Aryani. She's mischievous, I tell you. I'll be working soon with my chayaya cousin, Yunus, at Singapore Swimming Club (SSC). Eventhough it's far at the east side, I need money and furthermore, my uncle's working there. And my chayaya cousins are there too. So, it's ok la for me to work there. I don't mind the distance, there's transportation to send me home. The only thing I'm scared of is that I'll have no time for my boyfriend. I'll surely be tired and exhausted. And I'm scared because of that, it will make us drifted apart. Hopefully not.

I guess I'm off to the next room and sleep. Hunn, don't be angry if I'm over at Aiyad's place. So sorry if it pissed you. But don't worry k dear, Man's here. You'll tag along one day too okays.


A Beautiful Lie

Lie awake in bed at night
And think about your life
Do you want to be different?
Try to let go of the truth
The battles of your youth
'Cause this is just a game

It's a beautiful lie
It's the perfect denial
Such a beautiful lie to believe in
So beautiful, beautiful it makes me

It's time to forget about the past
To wash away what happened last
Hide behind an empty face
Don't ask too much, just say
'Cause this is just a game

Everyone's looking at me
I'm running around in circles, baby
A quiet desperation's building higher
I've got to remember this is just a game

So beautiful, beautiful...



I just couldn't get myself in a peaceful sleep. I've been awake for the past two days, only to get asleep just now morning. Instead of a long hours of sleep, I keep waking up every hour. Basically just to check my hp as it's in the silent mode. He didn't even call me, not even a message. I miss him much, but what he cares. He has never asked about my wellbeings, but only my whereabouts. Yesterday was over at Aiyad's place with Linda. Linda wanted to do some recordings but the cables are still not plugged and such. So we chilled over in his room only, surfing the net only. Before that, Man and Linda came over to my place and chill as I was totally in boredom. The previous days, was accompanied by Syira and of course my lovely Linda. Mick asked me to come over to Raffles City just now to accompany my dear Ira. But I'm going over to Kakak's place later on. Tomorrow I have to take care of my baby girl. Thinking of lepak-ing at Bedok with Ira and one of my friends whose staying over at Bedok too.

I'm in total heartache. I never thought it would become like this. I never thought you would do such a thing. I've been thinking about it eversince. Days passed and months passed. It just seems to be the same thing everyday. It's not clear on what you're trying to do. At the end of the day, it's not about losing the memories but gaining the strength to let go.




There's so much no one knows,
So much that no one sees,
About the way I feel inside, my thoughts and all my needs.

Maybe it's that they don't look,
Or the fact that I don't show,
Either way, there are things inside that no one seems to know.

I want to show the world.
I want everyone to see.
All the thoughts and the ideas that flow inside of me.

Maybe you haven't noticed,
Or maybe you don't dare,
To find out who I am, to show me that you care.

I'm screaming on the inside,
A smile is what you see,
But I am not content with the person I seem to be.

There's a different person on the inside,
That I can't seem to show,
But maybe if you took the time, that person you could know.




I just can't take it anymore. But all I could do for now is just listen to all those lyrical lies. How far my patience can really take me to? When will all those dramatic stories end? I still remember those very first lies you told me. And at that point of time, I know you're ain't true. Even so, I just buy all your lies and keep it in my chest, safely. Only to tell those whom can be trusted. I was blinded by all your sweetness and wonder how you could manage your time without any suspects. Sometimes these questions just make me go insane. Like someone says, somethings meant to be questioned and some are meant to be kept quiet.

You are not answering my calls. Like as if you couldn't careless. Just because of a small matter and we are making it big. Seriously, I am worried about you. I don't even know where you are, what you are doing currently and questions just starts to pop up in my mind. I even called your house but you hang up when you heard my voice. Despite all that, I kept on calling but you would just ignore those calls. I don't know what's to come more. Just need to rest my mind and think positively. And hoping that you'll call me soon. I miss you, baby.




Yesterday was sure a tiring day. Went town-ing with my dearest friends. Saw my hero with his parents while walking towards Far East Plaza. He didn't even look at me for goodness sake. Salam-ed his parents and he just turn back on me. Ate at Long John Silvers with Linda and off to Marina Square to meet Ira. I don't think I need to elaborate on that. I was basically not in the mood at that period of time.

I guess I have to wait for his call and just hope he would. Meanwhile, I'm going out with Zaqri and friends. Weee! They are already at Admiralty near Woodlands Circle. And I'm not even bathed since morning. Haha. Bye!




I just couldn't get myself to dreamland eventhough I'm very tired. Watched the super terrific show, TRANSFORMERS. Well, spent more than 12 hours at Dhoby Ghaut with the Biol couple, Yun and of course my super hero, Cicak. Thanks to the arcade, if not we would be totally out of plan.

Many things happened in these few weeks. Went to Sentosa with the Outlaws couple and her brother, chalet after that with those Fuchun peeps. It's been the whole week straight sleeping with that retard for that week. No, almost 2 weeks to be exact.

Auntie Cha's here and totally irritating. Luckily she's going back to Oman this Tuesday. Amin. House is in a mess, especially my room. I've yet to change my bedspread, vacuum and mop the floor. Penat ah babe hari-hari merayap. No time to kemas. HAHA.

Acuk's being more cacat for walking around the house NAKED. Thanks to his sisters who manjakan him. Thank you ah eh!

Cicak gained my love more these few weeks. HAHA.