I just uploaded a song to put in my few-months-of-silent blog. This song really has a meaning. Love is an unexplainable word, it's the feelings inside. Even I don't understand the true meaning of love. Well, maybe I do. Different people have different point of view towards love. Some people might say love is a pleasure or maybe love is the beauty. And some might say love hurts or love sucks. All relationships have their ups and downs, even married couples fight for some reasons. To me, love is all about trust, understanding, sacrifices and loyalty. And I fell in love with a guy but I don't know if he truly loves me for who I am.




Tonight you're mine completely
You give your love so sweetly
Tonight the light of love is in your eyes
But will you love me tomorrow

Is this a lasting treasure
Or just a moment's pleasure?
Can I believe the magic of your sighs?
Will you still love me tomorrow?

Tonight with words unspoken
You say that I'm the only one
But will my heart be broken
When the night meets the morning sun?

I'd like to know that your love
Is love I can be sure of
So tell me now and I won't ask again
Will you still love me tomorrow?


>maRq's addiCtion<> says:
why u and cak nvr together sia?

Hadzah; you are meant for me. says:
huh

Hadzah; you are meant for me. says:
wat nvr together ?

>maRq's addiCtion<> says:
i dunno'

>maRq's addiCtion<> says:
hahahhz

>maRq's addiCtion<> says:
like couple ar

>maRq's addiCtion<> says:
hahahhz

Hadzah; you are meant for me. says:
ouh

Hadzah; you are meant for me. says:
i dont know

Hadzah; you are meant for me. says:
i'm not ready and i dont think he ready too i guess




Fought with mum the other day. Went out so that my ears get to relax from her nags. Luckily Caca wants to accompany me for awhile before taking the last train home. Walked all the way to Causeway Point just to kill time and wait for the last train to Ang Mo Kio. Roamed around Woodlands alone. Hunny baby was at Marqus's place, enjoying himself drinking, and I was all alone. Met him and Marqus around 2+am at 888 Plaza as Marqus wants to eat. Cicak vomitted on the way home, but he could even sing eventhough he's throwing up.

Yesterday, met Apek, my Bear-bear, and Aki at Causeway Point as they want to window shop. End up, Apek bought a sweater, a tshirt and a pair of jeans. Aki bought a pair of jeans too as it's on the promotion. Apek bought a pencil case to make as a tool box for his bike. Luckily Aki had an extra helmet so I won't have to take the bus or walk home. Asked mum for passport and Malaysian cash to go to Johor with Bear-bear. Mum gave me RM50, I don't know why. Maybe because she wants me to be a good daughter. Obviously I didn't spend all of the money. Only bought some food, drinks, Doraemon comic and cigarette. After the Johor trip, went to Yishun cause the guys want to wash their bikes. Tiara was sparkly clean and we went home.

Frankly speaking, he's acting strangely lately. And his attitude towards me is no longer the same. I don't know why, I just felt not right.


When a girl is mean to you after a breakup
she wants you back, but she's
scared she'll get hurt and knows
you're gone forever


I was bored to death sitting at home and I transfered my pictures from my brother's computer to my laptop as to kill time. And the sad thing was, I accidentally deleted all the pictures from both the computer and laptop. How retard can I be? Really pissed off with myself for being such a retard.

Things are going smoothly in my life lately, especially after not contacting my recent ex. But somehow deep inside, I think I miss him. I called him up yesterday as my brother asked me to take his jeans back from my ex. It's like he don't want to talk to me or something. He messaged me in a manner, like he was forced to reply to my message. It's heartbreaking. I know I dumped you few months back but that doesn't mean you have to treat me like that. I know you're jealous that I'm always with Cicak and whatsoever. But that doesn't mean we couldn't be friends. Ok enough said. Luckily he agreed meeting me today at Admiralty. The reason is simple. I only want to take my brother's jeans. Or maybe slack awhile with him.
I promise hunny, no kissing involved.

Mum working double shift today, according to my brother. So she'll be back by tomorrow morning. I have no cash with me, not even a single cent. Asked hunny to come to my house, he said he'll see how. Furthermore it's raining heavily here.

Yesterday met my dear darling after quite sometime of not meeing her. Waited for my cousin, Caca, to pass her things and bought her ciggy. Took three sticks from here since I helped her to buy. Went to Causeway Point to exchange my Malaysian money. Top up my prepaid and left with zero dollars. Met Nurul under my blk and went off to her house. Met Marqus and slacked around Nurul's blk. Asked J to come and bring along his guitar too. Lepaking behind Woodlands Mart, so called the usual place we lepak. Retarded Ira on the stupid My Love song. I was like, FUCK YOU! Everyone was laughing at me, precisely.

I don't know whether I want to retake my O's or just go on with working life. If I retake, I've to earn the money myself. Ouh ya, I heard news that my mum going to work again overseas at Oman. And Ibu, Caca and Yun are going to stay here with me and abang to take care of Acuk. It's ok if Yun stays here, but I don't want Ibu and Caca. It's simply because I don't like them. Caca will forever using my clothes; and Ibu will forever cook the same thing over and over again, keep shifting things and I just don't like her to sleep in my room. I love my room being in this manner, messy and nobody cleans it for me. I hate others cleaning my room as I'll find it hard to know where my things are. In this three years of staying in this house, only one person ever clean my room up but that person gets a scolding from me. And that was Mama, my aunt. Just don't clean my room! And one more thing. I hate my closet being in a messy manner. And if I always go to your house, wearing your clothes to sleep and your closet is so messy, I'll clean it up for you just my Cicak's closet.

I want those night cuddles please hunny baby.




Just woke up from my beauty sleep. Slept late precisely. Lepak with those BMCians, made new friend; Yana. She's so crazy and very the BIOL. She laughs like a witch or maybe hyena. Went to Marqus's place, the boys played PS2 as usual. I fell asleep on Marqus's cozy cozy bed, with the coldness of his fan and aircon. Fullamak! Syiok siol tdo!

Hunny baby received 22 missed calls yesterday night. It's Shima and Nad Buster, that's what it shows in his handphone. Shima is the girl who likes him, and I don't know who's the other girl. I jealous tau! (mcm faham) That two freaky girls are damn irritating, I was on the phone with Ira (using Cicak's handphone) and they kept on calling. Don't they get the idea that he don't want to answer your calls? Common sense la dey!

I need my sex! Don't get me wrong, my sex is ice-cream. I want Chocolate Overload from Gelare. Please someone buy me a tub of it. Only $11.90 i guess. Please, I love you.



I love you from the bottom of this post. my heart.




In Kuala Lumpur now, accompanied my mum. But my main motive is to shop shop shop till my mum's money kering in the bank. Woke up early in the morning yesterday after my mum got home from her night shift. I didn't have enough sleep as I got home at 5 in the morning from Marqus's house. Idiot hunny don't want to walk me home. Took the 11am bus from Larkin and reached Puduraya at 6+pm. I couldn't sleep in the bus the whole journey, I don't know why. Brought along hunny's bantal busuk with me.

Shopped at Ampang Point, mum gave Rm100. Finished in just 1/2 an hour. We forgot about our shopping bags that we left at the Giant's security counter. Was busy eating ice-cream then, engrossed to it already. Just now went to Ampang Point again, this time round mum's with me. So don't have to worry about the limit of shopping. And after that, we went to KLCC. There's a jeans and streets fair at Isetan. So mum bought for abang a pair of jeans. Seriously, I didn't spend much at KLCC. Expensive gile la siol!

I spent RM300 just on this two days!



I miss that hunny baby so much. Chatted with him for awhile just now since he's at Marqus's place. Playing games, as usual la kan. He wants me to buy for him cigarette. How am I suppose to smuggle it in and furthermore I'm going home with my mum. RETARD!







Ouh baby, I miss you so.




Was bored to death sitting at home, nothing better to do. So I was chatting with Siti and she told me that noone's at her house since her parents and her other siblings went to Malaysia. So I quickly shower and get ready to go to her house which is a walking distance from my house. Mum didn't believe that I'm going to her brother's house as she knows they went to Ipoh and will be bak tomorrow night. So walked there alone, listening to my iPod. Upon reaching, watched some stupid show on tv. Watched Gubra, so called the second part of Sepet. Like finally, I get to see the face of their new maid. But I still prefer the previous maid.


Currently at Marqus's place. Yeah, hunny baby called up to meet at Woodlands Mart Mcd and off to Marq's place. I so miss that retard very much you know. Bought some chocolates, loads of it. I spent $14 just on chocolates at 7-11. Haha. They're playing the PS2, soccer game. And i'm stuck here with nothing to do. Guys will forever be guys right? And girls will be forever be girls. I so want that Barbie watch that Didi got from yesterday's game at the BBQ pit.

I can't deny the fact that I still have my barbie dolls at home. I played with it sometimes, changing their clothes and stuffs. Sometimes Ira or Linda will do that for me if they come to my house. I miss hanging out with those retards.

Ouh ya. Cicakman says that my brother's girlfriend looks like me. My brother loves me but he couldn't be my boyfriend, so he search for a girl that looks like me. Hahahaha. =)




Last Friday, I went shopping at Bugis with my dearest Auntie Cha and Caca. We really ketok die abes2, especially Caca. This is what I bought.

1. A sling bag from Bugis Street, $18 (u.p. $22)
2. A top from Topshop, $16
3. Reef slippers from Flash and Splash, $17.50 (u.p. $21)
4. Two knickers from Topshop, $18
5. Volcom slippers from Surfer Girl, $19.90
6. Skirt from Bugis Street, $25 (u.p. $26.90)

I love that Reef slippers! Since my Globe slippers that Faizal bought for me da haus. Didn't turn up for Doink's gig. No money la, so plan cancelled. Yesterday was at Pasir Ris Park since afternoon till night. Met LINDA B for awhile since she's there too with her friends. Ouh I so miss that darling so much.

Last Friday, like finally Ira and I get to meet that pathetic Apek. Its been long since we met and lepak together. Retarded him always with Tiara, no time to spend with us. But sadly, Cicak didn't join us. Retarded him end up at Marsiling with his BMC friends after quarelling with his mumsie. Ouh I really miss that hunny baby of mine. Retarded him keep on sleeping and I didn't get to talk to him. Only just now while I was having my beauty sleep that he called, just to tell me that he's going out. Tomorrow going to KL with my mumsie, 3 days 2 nights. Will miss that hunny baby more.



Aren't they cute, playing masak-masak?

I miss my hunny baby.
I miss my baby girl.
Retarded life.

Need to eat, mum bought for me Nasi Lemak. Hungry!




My baby girl is sick and she don't want to take her medicine. Slept at Bedok yesterday, but before that went to Ira's house to watch some DVDs. Watched this dayak movie, great! Seriously, the show was goddamn fucking GEREK! Brought back American Pie Naked Mile for my baby hunny and Stay Alive for myself.

Play around with my two degil nak mampos kids. Kicking the balls here and there, masak-masak and stuffs. I'll post the pictures next time k. =)

Oh ya! My dearest AUNTIE CHA is here. Cousins, she brought back don't know what shit. I asked her if she bought anything for me, but she said she needs to unpack all the stuffs first and went back to sleep. How pathetic can she be? Haha. But she's still the best!


These two girls really gave me a shock on one of the days. They came at 9+am I guess. No wonder that Cicak of mine kemas his katil on top (I was sleeping on the lower part of the katil).


Let's start off with Mr. Cicak doing the intro.


I ever mentioning to you guys that I kemas his almari. It was super nice but now,


it looks like this. But it's still in a neat manner.




On 3rd February,


I looked out of my window and I saw


a cute guy standing across the street.

So, the cute guy, which is my hunny Cicak, my darling Ira and myself slacked from afternoon till late in my room. Taking some stupid pictures, playing the guitar and whatever.

Ouh ya, my results.
Bah~

English C6
Maths C6
Malay C6
Science ABSENT
POA F9

Hahahhaha. Should I retake? Thinking of retaking my SCIENCE and POA. Faizal's dad asked me to retake too. How am I suppose to tell mum? She's sleeping now after her night shift.

Really, I can't believe that I scored C6 for English and Maths.


Our friendship we built since last four years has ended last few days. There's nothing that I could do to it besides breaking it. I've made up my mind not to contact you anymore. I wish you for the best and goodluck in everything you do. Thanks for the smiles you put on my face, the tears that rolled down my cheeks, the care and concern you gave me, the love you showered me and the sacrifices you made for me. Thanks for everything and sorry for everything too.

Thanks for being there for me when I need you. Thanks for understanding my situation. You give me hope in moving on with my life.

You dreamt about me again. This time round, grand finale. I guess so. I hope it won't turn out that way. The dream was really soooo sad and sooo sweet of you giving in. And you cried in your sleep, so touching. Love you hunny. HOPE!