Dedicated to Md Faizal bin Sudali

I'm sooo sorry about the incident happened just now. I'm totally felt guilty about it. I know you read the messages in my inbox, the one my ex sent me. I hope you would forgive me. I didn't mean to hurt you. And I know you cried just now. I could see that through your eyes and the sound of your voice. It hurts me too, hearing you crying. Please forgive me.

I'm totally totally very very very sorry.

I LOVE YOU!




The weather these few days is so sucky. It just keep on raining non-stop. Luckily today I could see the sun timbul-ing. Got such word?

I fell yesterday. And I mean, I really fell on my butt! My slippers are slippery, you see. I ended up falling on my butt and tergolek from the tangga! It's just simply hilarious. I got up on my feet back, and I was laughing at my clumsiness. Told mum bout it. All she said is that I didn't hear her sayings, that's why I fell. But I deny it, saying that I need new slippers since my current slippers are slippery.

These two days, didn't go out. I mean not taking the bus or train to somewhere else. Only to my dearie hunny-kibawa's house and to Nina's house. Both houses are just a walking distance. Caca slept over at my house for the two days. At least I have someone to accompany. You know, I'm bored at home. Unless if I have a kakak or adek, my life will be brilliant.

Well, hunny went to Johor. Tomorrow I'm having my interview at World of Sports. Thinking of asking hunny to accompany me. He needs to take his IC moreover tomorrow.





I know the picture is small. That's the only picture that is clear of his face in my photobucket.

Yesterday's plan B was cancelled as Ira's friend didn't reply to her messages and calls. So end up just window shopping at town area. It was a sucky day for us as it rains and futhermore there's some fire at Tangs. I want to buy the Bugs Bunny top at Mango! Someone please buy for me that for Christmas. Please please please! 28 December there'll be a John Little Sale at Expo. I'm going there to get my Bugs Bunny bedsheet. I know you might say I'm crazy about Bugs Bunny. And YES, I do. But only that I'm not that crazy to collect the stuffs.

Saw my dear Nurul in the train yesterday. Both of us didn't even know that we're in the same train until the time we need to alight. She has grown a little bit taller, but still shorter than me. Well, I miss her and Siti too. Cut her fringe as she asked me to. I cut mine too. But not much difference.

Talked to Rafidah on the phone just now. Had a great talk with her. I found out lots of things that is happening in their family lately.

You lied to me. Why do you have to do that? First is about the Hari Raya. You don't want me and Ira to tag along and so you lied that you're not tagging along as your aunt is having an open house. Secondly, you don't want to celebrate your birthday with me. And so you lied that you're going to Malaysia with your schoolmates. How could you lie to me? Everything bounce back to me, those memories. I just couldn't stand this any longer. I wish I had forget you and not knowing that you ever exist in my life. But the main point is that, you're not tired running in my mind. Today is your birthday and I'm sorry for not being the first one to wish you on your special day. I know you're not happy with that, I could tell by the sound of your voice. You're the first one to wish me on my birthday, without fail every year. And withput fail, you would celebrate my birthday with me. But this year, everything changed. We no longer celebrate each other's birthday together. This year, I celebrated with my bestfriend, the one who comforts me. She's the one who became the replacement of you after you left. Melancholy, I accepted the fact that we're not meant to be together.

Please stop all this lies.




Didn't go to work again today. Was damn tired due to yesterday's work. The crowd was horrible. Stock came and have to arrange it nicely under the wagon, paste the price tag, arrange the bedlinen on the wagon accordingly to it's size and I didn't go for dinner yesterday as it's damn crowded. Reached home and straight away eat without any delay.

Yesterday the store closes late and I saw Marianne. She's working at Isetan Level 2. Had a chat with her for awhile after work. I found out that she and Hadi were never together. OK, so that's a surprise as Hadi told us they're couples.

Spposed to accompany my dear darling to the gig at Gashaust. But we couldn't convince our ex-s to get a free entry. So, plan B was to catch a movie at Cineleisure, for free. Ira's friend working there, so could get the tickets for free.

Talking to my dear hunny-kibawa currently on the phone. He just woke up from his beauty sleep. Kesian die kene kejot time ngah mimpi.




Just got back home now. Didn't go to work today. Overslept that is. Didn't go out the whole day, staying at home, clean my room. Changed my bedsheet and vacuumed. Met my dearie hunny-kibawa to pass him the cds for him to burn for me. Slacked for awhile at 888 with him, Apek and Nurul.

Well, I've started work at Tampiness Mall till this Sunday as it's an Isetan sale. Tired standing for 12 hours. My dearie hunny took me from work yesteray. It was my first day working there. Ate at Big Mac with him and went back home. Talked to him on the phone till 3+am. He asked me to teman him to SIR building today, but I said that I'm working. End up, didn't go. So Apek accompanied him and they went to Vivo City. Cicak says that he don't like to go there, but he just wants to see what so good about that place. It's such a boring place indeed.

Currently talking to my sweetie, Firdaus. He's such a sweetie since we know each other. It's been five years for now. He's my only guy bestfriend since Secondary One.

Well, enough said. Got nothing more to say for now. Will update soon if I'm free.




Just got home a moment ago from my cousin's house. My dear nephew's bird-bird was cut. I really pity him la. He kept on crying and saying that the painkiller has no longer in action. Kakak, my cousin, was crying before the whole thing starts. She kept on asking her husband whether it hurts and she's scared of her son getting hurt.

I couldn't get any sleep throughout the day. Was on the phone all the way with my dearie hunny. He can't sleep too, so I accompanied him play his precious PS2. Wak Sam keep on disturbing him by singing a stupid song with his own tune and melody.

All day, I was damn tired and sleepy. I have to take care of my niece who keeps on running here and there. And whenever I carry her, she doesn't want to let go. So up and down the stairs with her in my arms. Lama-lama ade muscle. Slept with her for around an hour in the room. She woke up, crying. That woke me up and went down as she wants her mummy.


On the phone with his friend. (They're primary one ok)

Didi: You know what? I cut my cock.

*dont know what friend says*

Didi: I big boy already, so I have to cut my cock.


Isn't there any better things to say rather than that?


Oh well, I miss my dear hunny kibawa.




Talking to my dearie dearie hunny-kibawa currently. He can't sleep after turning and tossing, saying that my face and everything we did just pop up like flashbacks.

Went to Bugis with my darling Ira as she wanted to buy sweater for Apek. My dearie Cicak wants it too, but Ira says wait for her next pay. So we went window shopping and bought two tops, one for me and one for her. I want to get some new pants, new skirts, new tops. I don't think so I want those sleeveless tops anymore. There's alot in my closet already. I'm desperate for money currently. I'm jobless, looking for a job. Any recommendation, anyone? Ah Heng didn't call me up regarding the Specialist Centre job. Abang Min still haven't tell me about the World of Sports job. Fishball got a job already, as a Courts sales assistant at Causeway Point. He can la, he has the Courts certificate as he used to have attachment at Courts Ang Mo Kio. Luckily he'll be shift from Causeway Point to Jurong. At least I won't get to terserempak with him or what-so-ever.

Tomorrow suppose to have an outing with Ira, Aisah and Ella. But end up, it was cancelled as Ella went to KL. I'm thinking of going to KL too with my cousins to that kementot cousin of mine, Alya, house. That's the only way I could get cash from mum to shop till I drop. My mum is being stingy nowadays. It's been almost a week I din't get any cash from, only today. Tu pon kene membebel. Ape saje je la my mum. Sleeping at my cousin's house tomorrow as Sunday my nephew's bird-bird gonna be cut. Haha.

Hunny, thank you very much for the MNG top that you bought for me yesterday. It was sweet of you.

I'm craving for ice-cream. Someone please buy for me. Gelare's chocolate overload will do. Hehe.





He confessed his love again. Once when months back, second time I forgot. Third, by message which is still in my inbox. It was so sweet of him. He's my little sweetest thing.

It all started when we were at Abang Min's house, where we had our joyest day. Played a guessing game. If you're wrong, you'll have to drink the bourbon. My dearie Cicak was damn lucky for the first round. He didn't get to drink at all. At least this time round, it's much better, without the ajinomoto. But even though without that thing, I still can't drink that pathetic bourbon. I don't know what's wrong with my tekak at that time. I was thinking ajinomoto, that explains everything. My dearie Cicak-ku-sayang took the big capital 'E'. He was shaking and shaking and shaking like wanna tercabut. He kept on asking me to sit beside him. Apai kept on hugging onto my dearie Cicak.

Apai: Apai nak hug. Sape nak hug Apai?

Cute huh he? Haha. They keep on asking for ice even though they had finish the ice. Ira joined shaking too. She said it was fun looking at them shaking, especially Apek. Not Apek my bear-bear, it's another Apek. Sat beside Apek and they were shaking together like mad crazy assholes. And bla bla bla.

In the morning, went back to Cicak's house and Ira joined us later on. I can't sleep the whole day till now. Ok, I lied. I did get to sleep, but for a few minutes only. Not even an hour. He was jealous that Nan hugged me on the bed while he was shaking. Cemburu tandanya sayang. Hehe. He dreamt bout me again. I was damn shocked when he suddenly hugged me tight while I was lying down beside him. I asked what's wrong and he said that in his dream, some other guy wanted to take me away from him. See, he's my sweetest thing.

I love you too, hunny-kibawa.


Sorrows that's deep inside my blood.


It's been awhile since I last update my dear bloggie. I know its only4 days, but I miss doing this. Haha. Well, thanks to my bloody laptop. It's totally spoiled, can't switch it on at all. Luckily Abang is sleeping, so I can use his bloody computer.

Last Saturday supposed to go for a trip to a house near Botanic Gardens. But Zul couldn't make it, so the whole trip was cock up. We end up at East Coast, looking for Ehsan and Zara. And futhermore, the boys were late. Saying that there's only 3 boys and they were looking for another guy so that 1 girl dont have to walk. So they called Fahrin up. Yeah, the RVF guy that wants to kenal-kenal with my dear B, Linda. As usual, I'm with Sky and Nana with Black. Ira with Man and Linda with Fahrin. It's the first time I saw my dear Linda look so quiet and malu! It's hard to witness that.

Monday was suppose to meet Nana, Linda and Achek at Yishun. But end up at East Coast with Ira, my dear Cicak and 2 of his uncle. We were drinking and smoke-up. Ira vomitted three times. It was Glen's Vodka. I can't sleep the whole time at East Coast. It was damn stuffy and packed like sardines. So I decided to take a fresh air outside by the shore. Went back to Cicak's house to sleep. And bla bla bla.

Today going to Yishun to celebrate Abang Min's birthday.









Had nothing to do currently. Ira had fallen asleep while watching some DVDs. Watched Date Movie and Transporter 2. Yesterday, stay over at my cousin's place at Ang Mo Kio. No food at my house so went there to eat, in the night at 11+pm. Took the last bus to Ang Mo Kio from the interchange. Met Yunus at Ang Mo Kio MRT Station, he was bald. I didn't notice him till he call my name. Walked all the way back to his place. Ate and starts to talk crap. He fell asleep while I played with his laptop. In the morning, called Sky up as he asked me to wake him up. But he didn't answer, so I just hang up. The next thing I know when I woke up is, I had one message from Sky. I was wondering why I cant reply his message. Tried to on-off my handphone and it states there,

SIM Registration Failed.

My mum terminated my phone line. That was the most pathetic thing to do. Ya, my bill was $200+, after being warned by mum not to reach $100. So wasn't that bad, only that I was so don't-know-what-to-do without my social connection. Messaged my dear Ira using Yunus's handphone that my line was terminated and call hunny-kibawa up.

Met hunny-kibawa at Ang Mo Kio as he's from Yio Chu Kang, taking his RTT. He passed, finally! He's going to quit his current job at Courts as he had planned taking private O at BMC. Yeah, that Bring More Cash. Haha.

My hair is now no longer red, but black. I dyed it as I need to work. The job I got can't accept red-haired people. Got a job as a promoter at John Little, Specialist Centre. It is located around Somerset. Thinking of dying my hair brown, coz this is damn black. Never had a black hairdo on me. But the box states brown-black. How stupid that thing can be? Hmmph!

Well, will update soon. Tomorrow going for the ghost-haunting trip. Yoohoo!