Cicak has a bloggie. Hehe. Thanks to me. I helped him alot, explaining and stuffs. He doesn't know anything at all. Talking to him on the phone now with him. And he asked me to put a song in his bloggie. So if you hear some satanic song, it's his blog. No offence ok.

Meeting Darling and Sheena at City Hall later on. Change back Ipod and her Mp4. I miss my ipod man! Gonna break fast with them and Cicak. Yes, Sheena is Chinese. But she puasa too. I love her ok.

Cicak calls me BUNNY.
And I call him HUNNY.
Hehe.


I'm just a fool. A fool to love a guy like you. Do you ever care about how much I love and care about you? I don't think so. All you cared about was just your friends. You admire your friends more than your own lover. The relationship we built for almost four years was ruined. All our dreams are washed down the drain. I know you would blame me for that. But it takes two hands to clap. I know I too, was in the wrong to make you mad. But that doesn't mean you could land your hands onto me. You're just a guy who still has that childish mindset. All you know to do is to throw your tantrums at me, even though I'm not the one who made your blood boils. I know you regretted doing this silly things to me. It's better for us to remain this way, never to be together again. Let it be a history that both of us could not forget, but not a history that could repeat itself. All I could say to you is that I'm sorryif I broke your heart. I do love and care for you still. But sometimes, I felt that my love for you has just fade in time. Only time could heal our sorrows. I'll cherish every moment of you. Your smile, your laughter, all in my heart, always. Your voice still fresh in my mind.

I LOVE YOU.


Today, 26 September, marks our four years anniversary. I messaged him, do you know what date is today. And he replied, our anniversary. Was listening to some music on my handphone. Tears came into my eyes. It almost roll down my cheeks, but I have to tahan it from rolling. Cicak was beside me, and I was wiping the tears. Luckily he didn't notice it. If not, mangkuk.

Tomorrow schooling! I miss my fellow babes.


I do love and need you still. Sometimes, I felt guilty to break this relationship. At times, I felt regret letting you go. At the same point, I felt my love for you had fade away in time. When I look at you now, all I see is neither a friend nor a foe.

My face is now fugly, with the sight of the gatal-ness of eating prawns. A total of 15 prawns I ate today. Yes, I'm allergic to prawns. But who cares, it is so sedap. And mum asked me to take the medicine before eating the delicious prawns. Nothing happens after eating. But as soon as I woke up from sleep after eating, there goes the red big dots on my face. Then it slowly starts to get itchy. So I took my medicine for another time, which I usually eat once. And took anoher one at jamm. I just can't stop the itchyness. It seems to be the same after taking the third pill. Went to City Hall with my Darling at night and went home with Cicak and Bear-bear.

Tomorrow starts the fasting month. I don't know how I will cope with my school when I'm fasting.

SELAMAT BERPUASA EVERYONE!


Hope my Darling is ok. I really feel bad bout leaving them. My B too, hope she's ok. Basically, we were drinking, Glen's Vodka, at Ang Mo Kio. Cicak says that I'm a traveller. Haha. From Admiralty to Yishun to Ang Mo Kio and back to Admiralty. Its fun ok! Slacked with B's friends at Yishun before drinking. A friend of her's ajak me go clubbing. Haha. Never before Hadzah go clubbing ok. And that guy asked me not to wear make-up. He likes. Haha. Don't worry. I hate make-ups. And and and the funny thing is that, his name is Faizal. Why do it always be guys name Faizal wants to befriend me? Cicak's name is Faizal too. Haha. Bla bla bla.

The other day, Bear-bear and Cicak had their Courts dNd. Me, B and Darling was bored so we tried to pujok them bring us in for the dance. But they say cannot and don't want to tell us exactly where they were. They only told us they were at Neptune. But due to the smartness of us three, we managed to get to the place. Haha. My Bear-bear was senget, drink too much.

Going jamming later on. So the malas. But my Darling nye pasal, sanggop aku turon.


Yes! Finally I have the time to change my layout. I'm so in love with this layout. Woohoo! Changed my song too.

Don't Look Back In Anger
By Oasis

Cool huh.

Goin out to town. Was wondering what to wear. A tank top, skirt and shoes. It's been a long time since I wore my shoes. Haha. Eversince my school doesnt have to wear shoes. Hehe.


Destroying September gig was CANCELLED due to some reasons. It will be pospone to October, at the end of the month. That is what the organiser says.

Don't jump into conclusion. I don't see any of his intention to hurt your feelings. And you're not making stupid choice now and you're not making yourself a fool. I know you've lose your hope, but that doesn't mean he's using you. If you want his simple and humble love, you got to win his heart. But it's not a sure thing, as we don't know his feelings towards you. You just have to strive in everything you do. I know how you feel babe.

You are such a fool. A fool to love that guy after what he had done to you. You have given him umpteen chances. But he broke his promise and still did the same thing. He said he has change and wants you back. You better not. Cause you've promised yourself not to be a fool again. Let it be a history that you could not forget, but not a history that could repeat itself. I know he still loves you and still needs you. Just move on with your happy life now and let his feelings fade away in time. I know you too still love him. Maybe there's someone outside in this world could take his place in your heart. I think you've found him. Only that you think it's just a fling, a puppy love.


He dreamt about me. A wedding ceremony. Us on the pelamin. Hehe. That was cute of him to dream about me. Its hard to hear that guys dreamt about me. Hehe. CUTE la.


Everything I see is you.
Everything I do is you.
And I do love you.
But I hate you.

My Ira Darl has pierced her tongue. Thanks to her sayang, Cicak, who pierced for her. Hehe. So we're same now. But I've yet to pierce my lips. Cicak, when will the day that I've been waiting for you to pierce my lips will come? Yesterday was damn cool-shit day. Won't elaborate on that.It's just too cool to elabborate. Haha. Cicak watched the Russell Peters show. And he keep on saying,
"Somebody gonna get hurt real bad."
He got stuck with that sentence. Apek, my Bear-bear, has yet to see. Sure kecoh with that Russell thingy. Haha.

No school for me this week. And I started to miss all of my friends. Yes, especially Naddy. Oh gosh! And and and I join Malay Dance. And Bear-bear says that he don't see any kemelayuan at any part of me and he laughs at me the moment I told him I'm joining tarian. Hmmph..

Mizi and Sahrin dyed their hair! And and and the colour on Sahrin's hair is the colour I want. FUCK! And the style that is on Mizi's hair is the one I want. WHAT THE HECK! I don't care. Fishball promised to dye my hair after he gets the profit from the upcoming gig. Watch out you guys! Mine will be nicer than yours.



Destroying September.
Do come and support.
$5, IJ Studios.

My darling is performing too.
Dying For Revenge.
She'll be performing aroud 4 pm.

My fishball too.
Credit2Run.
He'll be performing around 3.30 pm.


Show no love.
Love will get you killed.

Just got home from Apek, my Bear-bear, house. Had a movie marathon at his house. We watched Kill Bill Volume One and Yakamasi. Batman Begins was too boring so I asked Bear-bear to change to Click. But watched the first disc only as we were damn tired. Cicak miss the first two movies as he's working yesterday. And and and he lied to me, saying that he's not coming to Apek's house. Aki and his friend was there too, but went off around midnight.

It was freezing cold yesterday night. Ira went in the room so left me and Cicak outside. And clever Cicak on the fan number 3. So rajin Hadz change it to number 1 as I keep on waking up as it's superly cold and futhermore, there's NO blanket for us. Hmmph! And lastly, I switched the fan off. And and and it was raining heavily outside.

My alarm woke me up at 8 am. Woke Cicak up but he still wants to golek-golek. And they're late for work and still have the time to go 888 Plaza to eat.

Go. Watching Get Rich Or Die Trying.


Please just don't play with me
My paper heart will bleed

Yesterday was super tiring day. Went swimming at Jurong with my Ira Darl and Linda B. Yes, just the three of us. But it was enough to make some hevoc. I can't remember what time we arrived but I know that we went out of the pool at 6.10 pm. Some guys whom wants to make friends with B took photos of us, with them. Be a one-minute-model. Hehe. There's this incident really tickles me and made me almost died. Haha. Won't elaborate on that. All I can say is that, don't go swimming with Ira at the deep side.

And and and IRA CAN'T SWIM!

Went home after that and went out again to meet Caca at Blk 722. Slacked for awhile and met Apek my BEAR-BEAR. And and and he's with Cicak! And I was wondering why Cicak didn't answer my call. Hmmpph..

Cicak NAUGHTY boy!


Naddy says I'm getting thinner. DO I? This can't be right.
Hell NO!

I think I'm gonna remove this password thingy. We'll see how. It's a nuisance to me. Haha.

I can't imagine myself being single. But I am now, and it's for real. And it's almost a month since I'm single. At least I get the taste of being free, enjoy life with my friends. It's been the whole week spending time with my girlfriends. How could you find Hadzah with her friends when she's with Faizal? That is a NO-NO. Naddy was uber funny today. She came to school when she doesn't have any paper. She thought today's English. Hehe. Slacked at Big Mac to eat. Now, POKAI! No money in my wallet. Haha. No plans for today. So bored at home. It's always bored sitting at home, staring at the walls. Someone please ask me out!

I miss you.


Aren't you tired of running in my mind?
Without you, I'm just fine.

Woke up early today even though I don't have any class today to accompany my darling cabot school. Cicak didn't go to work today. Went to my b's house as she didn't go to school too. Talked cock, listening to her type music. I LOVE THEM, HEARTS THEM MANY-MANY. But too bad, we can't have the whole day to do that as Ira working at 5pm. Accompanied Cicak to SSDC and off we went to TPY to meet Apek. Slacked at the Courts till he finish work. Then go home la. Haha.

Apek called me BEAR-BEAR.
Hehe.


My heart is blind to notice your love.
I don't get it.
Maybe someday I'll realise it.

You said you've changed. Can I trust you on that? What if history repeats itself? I don't want that to happen. I hate it. I know you do, too. I'm sorry for everything, for the past three years. I'm truly sorry. We can't be together again.

Yesterday was hilarious. Super giggling. Both of us remind ourselves of the past. Practically everything. It's like everything we went through together, ups and downs, even the most difficult situations which I can't mention that. We both were laughing hysterically like mad kids thinking of those stuffs in the middle of the night. And and and on the way back home, saw Cicak at Tamp. Haha. What a coincidence!


I just can't understand myself. I just can't imagine myself being so silly, being with him is such a silly thing to do. But I do love him and my love for him never seems to fade away. Why should I love him after he did all those stuffs to me? Even myself can't answer it. I just don't know why. Maybe it's because of the going-to-be 4 years relationship made me feel that. Yes, this coming 26 September is our FOUR years anniversary.

First time in this week that I went to school. Hopefully today won't be the only day that I come to school for this week. Ate at Food Culture with Ili, Nazurah and Nurul. Had to go off after that to meet Ira at Bedok as we meeting Linda at City Hall. Cam-whoring like monkeys there. Saw Douglas at Taka Garden! The last time I met him was last year in school. Haha. Lepak-ing at Esplanade, talking about ourselves. Love them so much. They are the people that really understand my situation. Always, whether I'm up or down. Went home with Cicak and Apek again. I'm so damn tired of walking, taking pictures and stuffs. Now, my eyes got tembel again, for the second time in my entire life. Haha.


I'm sick. Both physically and mentally. I'm dreaming of Gelare. And I'm going today, with my Adidah. Hehe. Cicak's working now, at Suntec. Go see him k guys. Haha.

Yesterday, went to the twins' house as their parents went overseas. And the funny thing is that, after Adilah reached home then Adam knew it was me at his house. He was like, "Hadzah? Is that Hadzah? Why so different?" Do I look different with short hair, guys? Haha. And and and I tried some weed. WHAT'S HAPPENING TO HADZAH? At least I took one puff only. And and and Cicak is angry at me. I know, I can tell by his voice. And throughout last night's conversation between me and Apek, he was there too listening. I thought he hang up already. Shitto-man!

Cicak, I'm sorry to make you angry. Please forgive me. I hate people to be angry. I'm happy if the person close to me is happy. And compose a song for me ok dear. Muuuacckzz.


Yesterday supposed to go to the foam party with Ira and Ella, but due to my kering and malas, I turn them down. Sorry girls. Meet up with Ili and Naddy at Big Mac and slacked there, didn't go for Chemistry. Hehe. And I've got a barbell, from Cicak. Thank you, love you. Around 1pm, Nad and Ili went off to City Hall, so left me alone, waiting for Adidah.

Played pool at the arcade. And and and I won all 3 games, beating Adidah ok! And that was my 2nd time playing pool. Just imagine a no-experience-at-all-person could won. Haha. Watched movie, Snakes On A Plane. Thanks to Alya for the recommendation. It is super duper interesting. Seriously, you guys should watch the movie.

Met Cicak under his blk as it's still early for me to go home, since Adidah has to go to Joe's house as his grandfather passed away. He made me wait for dont know how many minutes. *grins* Slacked and bla bla bla. Met his friends at 888 Plaza and bla bla bla.

K I'm going off to my cousin's wedding. Hadzah pakai baju kurung. Haha.

Cicak, you shut up!